Borrowed stories seem to be my best ones these days...

(...Maybe because I just don't seem to get out much any more?)

We watch The Office with a couple of friends of ours on whichever Thursday nights work for everybody. It's always a lot of fun, because these two are hilarious. It was suggested a while ago that we have an "Ugly Face Contest" and I said I'd post on the blog and everyone could vote. That has been slightly amended, because audience participation is so much more fun, don't you think? More on that soon. Today's post involves the same wonderful couple. Let's call them "Dwight and Angela". Heh heh. Anyway, "Dwight & Angela" live next door to a 50-something-year-old guy and his elderly English mum. Picture your typical lovely, neatly dressed, snow-white-haired English lady. The son has a massive video collection and has told them to come over any time and borrow whatever they like. They took him up on this, because hello, free movies! One day they went over to borrow a flick and he wasn't in, so the mother brought them to his room so that they could choose something. They get in there, and they're going through the movies, and of course the mother stays with them as they're looking, and she's suggesting various titles as they browse. Just as she's picking one up, "Dwight" gets a glimpse of what it is but it's too late to stop her. It's a porno. Called "Ass Attack", no less. The mother says (please to read using your best "proper" English accent, and with a slightly tremulous voice): "Oh nooo! What's this? 'Aaahhsss Attaaaahck'?! Oh it's a pooornoooo! Nobody should be watching pooornooos!" (Arrr, it's hard to transcribe English accents!) Anyway, you can imagine the discomfort...needless to say they grabbed something fast and got out of there.

For even more fun, here's "Dwight" doing his best English lady impression:

Fun Pengin update: I tried to feed my little guy some food he doesn't like today. He closed his mouth very tight and shook his head "No." I was shocked - he copies us shaking our heads (we do it for fun - I've tried teaching him up and down, but he hasn't got that yet), but I had no idea he'd attached any meaning to it! Holy crap!

Overheard in the shitter this evening

Freakazojd: "Look Pengin, daddy just brushed his teeth!"
Hublein: "Hey mama and baba!"
Pengin: "AaaAAAH! Ba-da!"
Hublein: "Hee hee...look at your mama, Pengin. She's wearing blue socks, pink knickers and a yellow brassiere, haha!"
Freakazojd: "Aw, thanks Hublein! I wasn't feeling that sexy a moment ago, but that made me feel so much better."
Hublein: "At least your legs are smooth!"
Freakazojd: "Ummm...not totally..."
Hublein: "Well at least you're not Bushy Bill Roberts any more!"
Freakazojd: "Oh! Is that what I was?!"
Hublein: "No...you were like this!" [Hublein puts his foot up on the counter and shows off a hairy leg]
Freakazojd: "Oh! Thank you so much!"
Pengin: "Ha! Ah-da!"

Bonus Pengin photo, for fun. Pengin watches The Muppet Show (also, check out the awesome dimple!):

Music geek alert!

I've been hearing some hype about Leona Lewis. How could you not, right? Talk about a media driven machine. "Clive What's-His-Name" (just kidding, Davis) is reported to be potentially signing her for $100 million contract. Does anyone know if this is happening? (I ask, not necessarily needing an answer.)
So I finally took a few minutes to check her out on amazon.ca today. I listened to the first clip - and just shrugged...meh. Not one to pass judgement on the basis of one clip, I listened to a few more. Again and again, underwhelmed. The accompaniment/"beats" didn't do much for me, and while her voice was nice enough, she didn't sound much different from all of the other little pop queens/princesses out there; what I'm getting at here, is that vocally, she didn't stand out to me as being something special enough to warrant $100 million. So what's the draw? Besides the fact that she's fucking GORGEOUS, of course. Are looks REALLY all it takes to be a popular musician these days? And do I suddenly sound like I'm 60 years old?! Frikken frack.

Friggin' heck

I am SUCKING with the posting. Some days I think about doing it, and then it doesn't happen. Other days I think I should just shut this thing down, because I'm so infrequent that I don't even expect anyone to check in on me anymore. Why DO you? Doesn't really matter, I guess, because I'm really grateful whatever your reasons are, but I don't think I'd even check in on me.
So, again, I'm up late, having just fed the babe who still (friggin' heck again) does not sleep through the night, and I'm too damned tired to come up with something interesting to say. Here are a few highlights of life lately:

• I am so happy that The Office is back on again.
• I discovered Etsy.
• I am hooked.
• Shit.
• This is for my friend T in BC who doesn't think Viggo is hot. First: I'm going to have to kick you in the neck. Second:
  
• In other words, what the hell are you thinking.
• Weight loss. Ooohhh yeah...I was supposed to be doing something that had to do with weight loss! Well, I'm down a total of 17 pounds (since the beginning of January), but please, don't clap too hard, because that's been holding steady for a few weeks now.
• I blame birthdays and dinner parties and such.
• The weather is AWESOME. I ran around my house in my skivvies with all the windows open today. It was 22 degrees out. Seriously. WHEEEEE!
• Holy shit, my blog has degenerated to discussions of the weather.
• My kid has FOUR teeth. #5 is coming soon. Dig it:
• The whole teething thing means we see a lot of faces like these:
• I love those faces. They are my faves.
• Also new (since I posted last, anyway): Pengin can get from lying down to standing up in his crib.
• By himself.
• My days of only having to have eyes in the front of my head are nearing their end.
• Also new: initiating and playing peekaboo. Cute.
• He also likes copying games, like smacking his hand and waiting for you to do the same, or doing what I call "The Old Man Cough", a.k.a. "Harumphing" and waiting for me to repeat that back to him. Think Statler & Waldorf. I will try to get that on video, because it's hilarious.
• The Jolly Jumper is losing its appeal in favour of walking (or running, god help me) while holding onto our fingers.
• My back is killing me.
• Also, apparently sippy cups and crawling are going the way of the soother in this house...my kid is skipping both, and going right for the glasses and cruising/walking.

Ok, that's all my tired brain's got right now. This post was interrupted by yet more feeding. I think that 5th tooth is arriving very soon...

Over and out...zzzzzzzz...

I'd like to thank the Academy...

Wow. There's a really sweet and amazing blogger out there named Jen who SOMEHOW saw fit to award me with this:

Jen, I don't know how I merit such a thing - as much as I'd love to say that I have quality where my posting quantity is lacking, I don't think that's the case. But whatever your reasons were, I thank you SO much. First the golden sporks and now this! I squeal with glee in your general direction. :)
From what I can see, the idea is pay it forward, so without further ado, I present the following as winners of this award (there were a couple more I would have added because I love their blogs, but they've won a number of times so I hope they won't mind that I have opted instead to give them both an honourable mention so that I can spread the love around a little more):

• Blog, Blah, Blah
• A Garden of Nna Mmoy
• Hello Josephine
• A Peek Inside the Fishbowl
• Ramblings of a Madman
• Ramblings of the Bearded One
• Real Live Lesbian
• A Slice of Life
• s.m.ART
• Work in Progress

These blogs are all fabulous, so if you haven't yet checked them out, please do. And thanks again, Jen. :)

It's there! It's there!

Not that I think you haven't been to Jay's yet if you're here, because he is the king of posting, and I am definitely in the serf category (although I'm trying to post more, I really am!). HOWEVER. Jay got his package today! I hope he doesn't mind me borrowing this most awesome photo, just in case there are some of you who haven't seen his post yet:

Jay, you ROCK the helmet, and you do my ancestors proud. :) Let me know if you need more Smarties.

Seems the west is more badass than they'd like to admit

Toronto gets a bit of a bad rap in some parts of this country, especially if you talk to folks out west. I lived in Regina for a year, and most of the friends I made were from the western provinces; I got my share of digs simply because of the fact that I had lived NEAR Toronto my whole life. According to many out west, Toronto is a dangerous, crime-ridden, and delusionally-self-aggrandizing city. Self-aggrandizing MAYBE (although I happen to really like the city, and I think if you've got the goods to back it up, go ahead...to a point). Anyway, dangerous? Not so much, as it turns out. This article was a bit of an eye-opener. Apparently Toronto is 26th on a cross-country list of communities of 50,000 or more people in terms of crime rate per capita. Montreal is 19th, and the top nine 'crime-ridden' communities are - get ready for it - all out west. Between (and including) Winnipeg and Victoria, to be more precise. Number 10 on the list is Halifax, the only city from the eastern provinces to make the top 10. Veeeerrrrry iiiiiiinterrrresting. A.K.A. "SUCK IT!" to my friends out west, haha!